


Experiment

by Celandine



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Community: livelongnmarry, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-14
Updated: 2008-10-14
Packaged: 2017-10-12 10:17:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celandine/pseuds/Celandine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unexpected meeting at a conference ends up being a good thing for both Remus and Severus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Experiment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ellid (Ellidfics)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellidfics/gifts).



"Excuse me," said Remus to a witch in bright blue satin robes, reaching past her towards a book that had caught his eye. She nodded and took a step to her left, enabling him to pick it up.

Remus flipped through the pages slowly, absorbed. It was a modern edition of an Anglo-Saxon leech book, replete with scholarly footnotes and editorial comments. The author's introduction indicated that there was a Muggle version of the text as well, but this wizarding one incorporated information that no Muggle could access. At twenty-seven Galleons, it was also far more expensive than Remus could afford, even if he bought this display copy for the thirty percent discount that the publisher was offering. Just to check, he flipped to the inside front cover, which showed the discounted price, and stopped in shock when he saw that the book had already been claimed -- by Severus Snape. The handwriting was spiky and difficult to decipher, but Remus had seen that signature before.

So Snape _was_ here. Remus had suspected that he might be, although he was not listed on the program as giving a paper. There were ample sessions on topics sure to pique Snape's interest. Remus himself had decided to attend only because there was a panel today discussing the development of a Wolfsbane Potion, designed to keep werewolves docile on the night of the full moon. If there had been any progress on that front, Remus wanted to know about it, so he had bought a one-day registration.

That session was not until the afternoon, however, and so Remus had gone to the book exhibit instead of attending some session that would be of little interest to him. He glanced around the room, crowded with wizards and witches in every conceivable cut and colour of robes. The International Wizarding Congress attracted participants from around the world, although most of its sessions were held in English as the most widely-known language. It was Snape he was looking for, although he was not sure whether it was to meet the other man or avoid him. They had not spoken since they had both left school six years earlier, although Remus had heard that Dumbledore had hired Snape to teach Potions at Hogwarts.

The unmistakable shock of greasy hair atop Snape's pinched face and beaky nose was nowhere to be seen in the exhibit room, though, and Remus let out a sigh. He replaced the leech book regretfully and moved on, browsing the wide assortment of volumes at the various publishers' tables.

* * *

  
Severus was just stepping out of the room in which he had attended a roundtable discussion on the use of various dragon parts in potions when he saw a once-familiar face out of the corner of his eye. He scowled and hastily backed up, bumping into a wizard who was exiting right on his heels. His glower dissuaded the other man from saying anything, and Severus waited several minutes, pretending to be engrossed in his program, until he was reasonably certain that Lupin would have moved on.

Who would have expected to see _him_ turn up at an academic gathering? Although Severus had to admit -- grudgingly -- that Lupin did have the brains to appreciate what was going on, unlike his erstwhile friends. Black was doubtless going mad in Azkaban, and Potter and Pettigrew were both dead now in any case. Severus scowled again, pushing away the thought of Potter and his wife.

As he paged through his program book, a session title caught his eye: "New Hope for Lycanthropes? Recent Developments in the Wolfsbane Project". That was why Lupin was here, surely. Severus ought to have realised it before. _Circe's tits._ He had planned to attend that session himself; he had never yet personally worked with Wolfsbane, but the technical challenges of it intrigued him, and as he recalled most of the other late afternoon sessions were on topics that interested him not at all: divination by the haruspices, the need for accurate wand movements in charms, and the like.

Severus stood and left the room in search of tea and perhaps a sandwich for his lunch. He would go to the Wolfsbane session as he'd intended, but make certain to arrive early and sit in the front row so that if Lupin were there, he would not have to look at the werewolf's face.

* * *

  
It was only five minutes before the session was scheduled to start, yet the room was less than half full when Remus walked in. The first thing he saw was Snape sitting alone in the front row, his tight hunched shoulders a warning to keep away.

Remus ignored the signal. He walked to the front of the room and settled himself into the uncomfortable metal chair next to Snape.

"What are _you_ doing here?" The emphasis that Snape laid on the "you" conveyed worlds of loathing.

"Why, attending this session, as you can see. Surely you would expect me to be interested," said Remus pleasantly. "Severus," he added.

Snape went white. "You dare," he began in a rasping voice, but at that moment Phyllida Canis, the gray-haired witch chairing the session, rose, and Snape was obliged to fall silent.

If he hadn't been genuinely interested in the topic, Remus would have soon found himself well and thoroughly distracted by the inner curve of Snape's wrist as he took notes in jerky pothooks, or by the sheer smell of the man, a bitter and almost metallic scent that went straight to his throat and made him want to howl his possession.

 _Not yours_ , he reminded himself, and went back to listening intently as the second speaker described a series of experiments using varying portions of wormwood and tansy in the Wolfsbane Potion.

After all three papers had been read, not surprisingly it was Snape who dominated the question and answer period that followed, making detailed inquiries of each of the speakers and obtaining their contact information for later correspondence. Remus had been a good Potions student, but this level of expertise was beyond him, especially after so many years, and so he simply listened and watched Snape pocket the speakers' cards.

"Still here?" sneered Snape as he turned to go.

Remus shrugged. "Why not?"

"Did you even understand any of what was said?"

Remus forced himself to keep his fists unclenched and his voice casual. "Most of it, actually. I _do_ have a vested interest in the topic, after all. But I didn't know that you did."

Snape looked down his nose. " _My_ interest is purely academic."

"Are you planning to carry out any work on it? Perhaps even make trials of your efforts?" Remus matched Snape's long stride down the corridor. He seemed to be heading toward the registration area, or perhaps one of the publishers' wine and cheese receptions in the rooms nearby.

"That is none of your concern." Clearly Snape intended his words to be the end of their conversation, biting them off that way.

"Oh, but it _is_ my concern," said Remus softly. "If you do any experimentation, you will need someone on which to test the results, won't you, and I would volunteer."

Snape stopped so suddenly that the wizard behind him bumped into him, muttered an imprecation in a language Remus didn't recognise, caught Snape's scowl, and hurried off.

"Why?" Snape's eyes glittered.

"Because I have an interest in the outcome, obviously." Remus was sorely tempted to roll his eyes at Snape's obtuseness. "Look. Why don't we discuss this somewhere else, over dinner perhaps. Or just a drink, if you'd rather."

Snape nodded curtly.

* * *

  
Severus couldn't believe that he was having dinner with the werewolf. He had heard himself agree to it as if in a daze. Yet here they were. Granted, it was scarcely a gourmet meal; they had merely walked a few streets away from the university where the conference was being held and stopped at the first halfway decent restaurant they saw, which happened to be Chinese.

The egg drop soup was acceptable. As they waited for the next course, Severus asked Lupin pointedly, "Do you understand what it means to volunteer for this sort of testing? You know there have been deaths in the past."

Lupin returned his gaze calmly. "I've paid attention to the development of this potion. There haven't been any deaths in years, and I trust you."

Severus felt something flutter in his stomach. To quell it, he reached for the teapot and filled his cup.

"Please?" Lupin pushed his own cup across the table, and after a second's hesitation, Severus filled it, too.

"If you are in fact serious about this," he said, setting the teapot down, "I'll want you to sign a formal waiver, in case anything goes wrong."

"Naturally." Lupin sipped his tea.

Their main course arrived then, and Lupin ate a few bites of his chilli beef with a contented look on his face. "I can begin whenever you like. Next full moon or later."

"I won't have had time to set up any practical experiments by the coming full moon," said Severus reluctantly. He poured a little more soy sauce over his vegetables, then carefully picked up a prawn with his chopsticks and popped it into his mouth. "Perhaps the one following. We will need to discuss a location, as well."

He hoped that Lupin would not suggest the Shrieking Shack, though it had the advantage of being convenient... well, somewhat convenient. Nothing in the world would induce Severus to go down the tunnel below the Whomping Willow again, and he would have to walk out of the Hogwarts grounds in order to Apparate to the Shack.

Lupin swallowed and paused thoughtfully. "I've been using a room in my flat, for my transformations," he said, not meeting Severus's eyes. "It's a basement flat and I've placed soundproofing spells on it, and use three different locking charms at the full moon."

"That might do," said Severus grudgingly. "I'll want to look at it first."

"Naturally." Lupin ate a bite of rice. "So tell me just what it is you will be trying with your experimental variations?"

"As you know the Wolfsbane Potion is intended to make the werewolf more tractable, able to retain most or all of its human mind. It is impossible to _prevent_ the transformation, so the best hope is to ensure that the creature is rendered less dangerous to itself, and most importantly, to others."

He saw Lupin's face tighten slightly as he spoke, but the other man said nothing.

"I am convinced that the key is to achieve an appropriate _balance_ of ingredients, paying attention to the way that they interact, and not just their inherent properties. It is more a question of refinement, at this point, then coming up with an entirely new combination or method of brewing."

Lupin nodded. "I see. Go on."

Severus spent a while elaborating on his ideas, and Lupin listened attentively, asking an occasional question. Severus found himself actually enjoying their conversation, to the point that he was oddly reluctant to leave Lupin's company as they strolled back to the conference site.

"Goodnight, then," said Lupin briskly, holding out his hand. "Owl me when you're ready to do any of the testing."

His fingers were warm and solid against Severus's colder ones when they shook hands. "I will."

* * *

  
Remus tried not to expect to hear anything from Snape for at least five or six weeks. He wasn't sure if offering to be a test subject had been a good idea or not; it had been an impulse, a sudden reluctance to let Snape go with no prospects of seeing him again in any reasonable future. But despite all the antagonism in their history, he did trust Snape to carry out his experiments in a professional manner, if only for his own self-interest. To be the wizard who had improved and perfected the Wolfsbane Potion would bring Snape a certain amount of fame and perhaps even fortune, but killing or even permanently damaging his test subjects along the way could only be negative.

Instead of five or six weeks, though, it was more than nine before Remus received any contact. A brown owl brought a sheaf of parchment, most of which was a waiver form which essentially said that if anything at all harmful occurred to Remus as a result of the tests, neither he nor anyone else could hold Snape liable. Remus shrugged and signed it. Then he read the accompanying note.

 _Lupin,_

The present formulation requires that you ingest a specified amount, calculated by body weight, for each of the two days prior to the full moon, with a larger dose on the night of your transformation. Please send me your weight and I will send you the appropriately measured doses in advance. A day beforehand, I will inspect your accommodations.

I will arrange with the headmaster so that I may come and observe the results for myself on the night of the full moon.

S. S.

The handwriting on the final line was even more cramped and spiky than usual.

Remus found a scrap of blank parchment and wrote back:

 _Weight is eleven stone, eight pounds. I'll be ready._

R. L.

He sent the note back by return owl and tried not to think about it with too much hope.

The bottles of Wolfsbane Potion arrived a week later, each carefully marked. When Remus drank the first dose on the designated day, he nearly vomited, it tasted so foul. He looked at the empty flask suspiciously. Was this Snape's idea of a joke?

He resolved to ask if it was really necessary for the potion to taste this horrible, when Snape came the following day to look at the room in which Remus endured his transformations.

"I'm afraid it is, Lupin," was Snape's disdainful reply. "Did you want me to add sugar to it as if you were a fussy infant, perhaps? It can't be done. The balance of the ingredients is exceedingly delicate; you should know perfectly well that any change will have major effects on the efficacy of the potion, or weren't you really listening at that conference?"

Remus shrugged. "I merely felt that you ought to be aware of it. I've never tasted anything so disgusting in all my life, I have to say." He held up the bottle containing the second dose and shuddered. "Have you tasted it yourself?"

" _I_ am not a werewolf," snapped Snape. "Now. Show me the room; I must return to Hogwarts shortly. But Albus did give me permission to be absent tomorrow night, so that I may see whether the potion is effective." He sneered slightly.

"It's in here." Remus opened the door. The room was decent-sized, but almost totally bare. The one window was high up on the far wall.

"I put my wand up there before I transform," said Remus, indicating the window ledge. "I need it to perform the locking spells, and then the counterspells the next morning, but I daren't leave it where I might inadvertently destroy it while in the wolf form. I hang a robe on the hook behind the door as well since my clothing doesn't transform with me."

Snape's dark gaze flickered, and he nodded. "Very sensible of you, Lupin," he allowed grudgingly. "It seems secure enough. My intention is to put several monitoring charms on you ahead of time, which will indicate your heart rate, movements, and so on. If the data from those, plus whatever you can report the following morning, indicate that the potion is beneficial, another time I might try staying in the room with you. There is no substitute for personal observation in the end." Snape's jaw was set as he spoke, and he didn't look at Remus.

 _He's terrified_ , Remus realised. "And if what the charms tell you of my physical condition is not positive?" he asked aloud.

"I will continue to refine the formula, of course." Now Snape's voice was patronising. "Which frankly is what I expect will happen. It has taken decades to come this far; surely you don't expect immediate success from me?"

"Well, you always were a brilliant Potions student," Remus murmured, smiling. "If anyone could manage it, it's you."

Snape grunted. "You overestimate my abilities. I will see you tomorrow, then."

He turned to go.

"Wait," said Remus hastily. "Can I get anything for while you're here, waiting overnight? Your favourite tea, something to eat, anything?"

"No, thank you," Snape said. "If I wish any refreshments, I will bring my own."

"As you wish."

After Snape had gone, though, Remus chewed his lip thoughtfully. Despite Snape's demur, he would make sure that there were at least tea and cheese and biscuits waiting. It was the least he could do.

* * *

  
"Damn, and damn, and damn," Severus muttered, scrabbling through the pile of loose pages, looking for his notes on valerian. It had been four months, now, since he had begun running the trials on Lupin, and he had been disappointed every time. Not that he had expected better, but it was still irritating to feel that he was making no progress. He supposed he should be thankful that he actually had a test subject to work with, unlike many others who had helped to develop the Wolfsbane Potion. The Ministry had funded some of the early research, but it could not reliably supply werewolves on whom the tests could be carried out. Some developers only had one or two chances a year to try out their formulations.

He muttered to himself as he recalculated quantities and reconsidered the length of some of the brewing stages. Perhaps if the horned slugs were stewed for a full forty-eight hours instead of twenty-four? He made the appropriate notation and carefully adjusted the flame that kept the cauldron at a low bubble. It stank. Lupin might complain about drinking the final potion, but Severus was the one who had to be around it for days on end during the preparation phases, and it couldn't possibly taste any worse than it smelled.

It was remarkable how hopeful Lupin looked each month when Severus arrived. Despite Severus's insistence that he was no guest and ought not to be treated as one, Lupin always managed to have something to ease the dull hours: tea, and snacks, and often interesting reading material, something other than student essays and Potions journals.

Even with a silencing spell in place, Severus could always hear faintly the werewolf's howls, particularly at dusk and dawn, when the actual transformations took place. He would never have expected he would feel sympathy, but the sight of Lupin in the morning, bedraggled and bloodied with self-inflicted gashes, made him think a little differently. It was not, after all, Lupin's fault that he had been bitten. If Severus managed to succeed in perfecting the Wolfsbane Potion, Lupin might even become a productive member of wizarding society, now that he no longer had his despicable gang of bullying friends around.

Severus sent off that month's bottles in resignation. Did he really know what he was doing, or was he working blindly, altering ingredients on the off chance that something might work?

The days were growing shorter as the year waned, and by now Severus had to arrive at Lupin's flat well before dinner was served at Hogwarts. The house elves had made him a packet of sandwiches to take today, but in his haste he had forgotten them. Well, going without one meal would scarcely be a serious problem.

"I think that this month's version tasted even worse than that batch two months ago," said Lupin with a smile when Severus arrived. "I must congratulate you on achieving ever greater heights of revoltingness."

Severus scowled. "How can you possibly be so cheerful?"

The smile dropped away from Lupin's face. "Because if I don't try to think positively and keep my spirits up, I'll simply despair," he answered quietly, in a voice that had a notable lack of self-pity. "There isn't much to hope for in my life, Severus. I offered to help you test this potion not just for myself, but for all the other werewolves who would like to be able to have some control over themselves every month, not feel that we have become animals completely. The Wolfsbane Potion may not prevent the transformation or even make it less painful, but if I could keep my human mind and sanity when it happens, that would mean a great deal."

Severus watched as Lupin drank off the carefully measured dose with a grimace, then set his usual charms to monitor Lupin's condition.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said stiffly, opening the door to the bare room where Lupin spent these nights.

Lupin sighed and nodded and went into the room, shutting the door firmly behind him. Severus could just hear him murmuring the locking spells, and then a silencing spell. Now Severus merely had to wait the night out, checking on Lupin's condition every hour and noting any changes, although if the potion was not effective immediately, it was unlikely there would be any difference as the night wore on. He settled himself in a threadbare chair to wait and glanced at the pile of books that Lupin had left in an untidy stack next to it. He raised his eyebrows at several of the titles. Had Lupin left these here deliberately to see what Severus might say? He doubted it was any kind of trap to get him to reveal himself; Lupin had never been that subtle. Severus lifted the top book and began to flip through the pages, lingering on those illustrations which he found especially alluring.

Lupin, it would appear, had rather specialised tastes. Not only were the pictures almost exclusively of two men together, the great majority involved the domination of one man over a submissive other. Some made it explicit with cuffs or ropes or other means of bondage; some merely implied it by the postures or actions of the participants. It was a wizarding book, allowing the viewer to see the motions of those photographed, not merely capturing a static moment. Severus turned the pages almost reverently, his cock thickening as he gazed at image after image. He wondered in which role Lupin saw himself: dominant or submissive? Severus would imagine dominant, the alpha wolf, but perhaps he was mistaken.

Not that he had any intention of soliciting a werewolf as a sexual partner. Severus drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair for a moment, then closed the book with a bang and thrust it aside. Minutes later, however, he had picked up the next in the stack and was looking to see if it indicated similar interests.

It did, and so did all the rest. Suddenly Severus realised that it was time to check on Lupin, to see if this month's potion was having any of the desired effects.

He muttered the charms that would ascertain Lupin's condition and paused in shock. The wolf was not moving and his pulse was the lowest Severus had ever seen it on these nights. Was he unconscious? Dying? Severus gnawed at his lip. He would have to check in person. He couldn't be responsible for this death.

Going over to the closed and locked door, he put his ear to it and listened hard. Nothing. From his charms he could tell that Lupin was still breathing, but most nights there were muffled whimpers and howls that even the silencing spell could not entirely suppress. Severus scowled. He would have to go inside.

Lupin had told him which locking spells he used, so it was a simple matter to undo them. Severus took a firm grip on his wand with one hand and cautiously turned the doorknob with the other, tense and prepared to defend himself if necessary.

There was no sound of movement. Severus inched open the door a little wider. Still, no response. When it was wide enough, Severus stepped through, pushing the door shut behind him, his wand at the ready.

Across the room in the corner the wolf was curled up in a furry ball. It raised its head from its paws to look at Severus, and then to his astonishment it wagged its tail.

Severus felt as if his legs might collapse from relief. It seemed that the potion had worked better than he had expected. He lowered his wand, although he remained alert, just in case.

"Lupin?" His voice was scratchy. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Lupin?"

The wolf licked its chops and yawned. It rose to its feet, stretched, and then sat back on its haunches, head cocked toward Severus, tail sweeping back and forth across the floor.

"I see you are well, after all," said Severus dryly, recovering his equilibrium. "Good. Your pulse had shifted and I was concerned, but it would appear that it was only that you were asleep. I'll leave you to your nap, then."

The wolf lifted its muzzle and dropped it, then its front paws slid along the floor and it lay down again, its eyes never leaving Severus as he reached behind himself to open the door.

Back in the hallway, Severus recast the locking spells before he permitted himself a very private jig of glee. He would have to speak with Lupin in the morning, of course, find out what if anything he remembered, and how the experience had seemed to him, but it looked as if Severus just might have succeeded in producing a truly effective Wolfsbane Potion.

The rest of the night seemed to take forever to pass, with Severus waiting in feverish anticipation of the morning. He distracted himself part of the time with Lupin's erotica, but it was really too arousing to be effective. Severus did not want to masturbate in Lupin's flat, not with the owner only a few yards away, even if he was in wolf form behind a locked door. Wolves had a keen sense of smell, he knew, and if werewolves did likewise, then should Severus have to enter the room again, the wolf would doubtless catch the scent of fresh semen.

Lupin was smiling a rather painful smile when he emerged the next morning.

"I think it worked this time, Severus." He ran a hand along his chest. "I don't remember everything, but I didn't scratch at myself last night; there are no fresh wounds at all. And you came in once, didn't you, and spoke to me?"

"That is correct. I was concerned about your physical state as your vital signs were significantly lower than I have been accustomed to seeing, but apparently you were merely asleep."

"But you did come into the room?" Lupin persisted.

Severus nodded. "It was necessary."

* * *

  
Remus realised only the next day that he had inadvertently left out some of his favourite wanking material, and moreover that Snape had probably looked at it; the books were not in the same order as he remembered leaving them. Not that that was _proof_. Snape could merely have knocked the stack over and replaced them haphazardly. Yet had he done so, Remus would have expected him to notice the titles upon picking them up, and to have said something sneering about them, deriding Remus's interests. The fact that he had not hinted that perhaps, just perhaps, he might have similar ones.

It was a foolish hopeless daydream, and Remus knew it, yet at odd moments over the following month, he imagined Snape beneath him, pliant, the mouth so often twisted in a sneer instead open and rounded in pleasure. Remus determined to see how things went at the next full moon; if Snape seemed at all receptive, perhaps Remus would suggest that they might do something together other than as experimenter and test subject.

After some thought, Remus cast spells on several slips of paper and placed them as book markers in the books that he had left out the time before, choosing pages with his own favourite illustrations. If Snape looked at them, the book markers would reveal it.

The bottles of Wolfsbane Potion arrived that month with a note from Snape saying that it was virtually the same formulation as last time, with the only change being a fractionally smaller amount of wormwood. It tasted no different, however. Remus had to suppress his gag reflex as he drank each dose.

Snape arrived in midafternoon.

"It's a good thing that Albus is in favour of this research," he complained. "These short days mean that I had to ask Aurora to take my late afternoon class. At least it was the sixth years and they can mostly be trusted not to blow up the classroom. Mostly."

"I appreciate your willingness to do this," Remus said. He wouldn't apologise -- neither the fact of his lycanthropy nor the pattern of the solar cycle were matters within his control -- but he was perfectly willing to express his gratitude for Snape's efforts. "There's still nearly an hour before I need to go into the other room. Would you like a cup of tea, perhaps?"

For a moment it seemed as though Snape would refuse, but finally he said, "A cup of tea would be welcome. Thank you." The last two words came reluctantly, but he said them.

When Remus had brewed the tea and brought Snape a cup, the other man said abruptly, "I will stay in the room with you for the transformation this time."

Remus nearly spilled the hot tea on his lap. "What?"

"I said, I will stay..."

"No, I heard you," interrupted Remus, "I just find it difficult to believe you would want to do so."

"I have confidence in my version of the Wolfsbane Potion," said Snape in lofty tones, but Remus could see that his knuckles were white as he gripped the cup, belying the certainty he tried to convey. "As I have told you before, there is no substitute for personal observation of the effects, if I wish to publish my results."

"I can hardly dissuade you, if you're determined." Remus spread his hands in acknowledgment.

It was strange to have another person in the room when the transformation was about to come upon him. Remus always removed his dressing gown and hung it up so that he would not destroy it while a wolf, and now he shifted uncomfortably under Snape's dark gaze, especially given that Snape was still fully clothed while Remus was naked.

Naked, and erect. Snape had cocked his head and gestured at Remus's groin.

"Is that a usual symptom?"

"Symptom" was not perhaps the term that Remus would have chosen, but he agreed, "Yes. Over the week preceding the full moon, my sexual urges become increasingly insistent. Afterward they are commensurately lessened."

"Interesting. It's mentioned only briefly in the literature on werewolves." Snape licked his upper lip without seeming to realise he was doing so. "Are the urges qualitatively different from the intermediate two weeks?"

"Somewhat." Remus tried to match Snape's clinical tone. "Since I was bitten so young I can't compare my sensations to what they might have been like in any 'natural' state, but there's definitely a greater need for domination, even aggressiveness, shortly before the full moon."

Snape's eyes widened slightly. "I see."

Remus could feel that it was nearly time for the transformation. "Are you certain you want to stay and watch this? It's not a pretty sight, and it's very painful. You could come back in fifteen minutes or so."

"I would prefer to stay," said Snape, leaning against the wall by the door and crossing his arms on his chest. "I would like to observe the full transformation and how the Wolfsbane Potion appears to affect it. If you are concerned for my safety..."

"No," interrupted Remus. "No, I know you're quite capable of defending yourself if necessary." He could feel the first twinges of the change, beginning deep in muscle and bone, and dropped to the floor, turning his back on Snape. If he was to have no privacy, at least he need not _watch_ himself being watched.

Then the pain struck, and he cried out at the agony of it, the rueful thought flitting through his mind that perhaps retaining some human awareness was actually worse; without it had he had only ever retained vague memories of pain and rage, once the night was over.

The transformation complete, Remus lay on his belly, panting, adjusting to the changes in his senses. Snape had managed to conceal his apprehension well, but now Remus could smell the rank aroma of fear sweat on the man's body. He cocked his head. Snape was standing still, watching Remus's every move.

Stiffly Remus got to his feet and went over to Snape, his claws clicking against the bare floor. He sniffed at Snape's feet, at the hand at Snape's side -- not the one holding the wand which was pointed at Remus's head -- and then, because he could not resist, at Snape's crotch. He licked his chops and sniffed there again.

"No," said Snape sharply, bringing his wand down to rest threateningly on Remus's muzzle, between his eyes. "Behave yourself, sir."

The "sir" struck Remus as hilarious. He supposed it was merely a slip of the tongue, but if he had been in human form he would have laughed. As it was, he backed up a step and yipped, then licked Snape's hand.

"Wonderful," Snape grumbled. "A wolf with a sense of humour. But it appears that you understand what I say. A test is in order. Use your front right paw to tap the answer: what is the sum of three plus two?"

Remus sat back on his haunches and, a little awkwardly, lifted his right foreleg to make five beats upon the floor.

"Excellent, excellent. I can hardly ask you anything very complex, for how would you respond? But indisputably you have retained much of your human understanding tonight. Can you compare it to your usual experience, I wonder? If you can, wag your tail."

That Remus could easily do. His tail swished along the floor.

"Is it better, so far as you can tell?"

Another wag.

"Good." Snape sounded very satisfied with that response. "I do hope you're able to recall something of this, once morning comes and you are restored to your usual self again. Any details might be invaluable, so please try to fix the sensations in your memory if you can."

Remus wagged once more.

Snape stayed in the room with him for the next two or three hours, using his wand to make various measurements and occasionally talking to Remus about them. Eventually Remus gave an enormous yawn and Snape did likewise.

"Perhaps I should take a break," he said thoughtfully. "A short nap and then a cup of tea. I doubt there will be any substantive changes in your condition if I leave you for an hour or two. You could nap also."

Remus nudged at Snape's hand with his nose, inviting a pat on the head. When he received it, he wagged and backed away.

"Very well. I shall return soon."

As the door shut behind Snape, Remus could hear him muttering the locking charms. He curled up with his nose on his paws and let out a sigh, slipping into sleep.

* * *

  
 _Well._ Severus went into Lupin's kitchen. That had gone better than he had expected. He hoped that Lupin had been unable to tell how nervous he had been... that was probably the reason why he felt so drained right now; sheer nervous exhaustion. It certainly wasn't late, not even nine o'clock.

Severus bypassed the Earl Grey and the various herbal teas in Lupin's cupboard, reaching instead for a packet of Irish Breakfast. Tea made, he returned to the living room and settled down in the same armchair he had used last time. Lupin had left out his naughty books again, and Severus picked one up thoughtfully. Once might be accidental; twice surely meant that there was some purpose intended. Normally one would expect books like this to be kept in the bedroom, after all, lest some casual visitor see them. If Lupin ever _had_ casual visitors.

After a little hesitation, Severus decided that he might as well look at them. Despite his words to Lupin about taking a nap, dozing upright in the chair would not be particularly restful and he certainly wasn't going to borrow the werewolf's bed. He not brought marking with him nor anything else to do and he might as well enjoy this time.

This month Lupin had left book markers at several places in the books. Curiously, Severus opened to the first marked page.

A dark-haired man clung to a bed post, bent almost double at the waist, while a lighter-haired man took him enthusiastically from behind. Severus peered more closely, ignoring the vigorous motions. Was the first man merely holding on, or were his hands actually bound to the post? The angle made it difficult to tell, but finally the man shifted just enough that Severus could see that indeed, a cord encircled those wrists and looped around the metal upright.

Unbidden, a vision came to Severus's mind of himself in such a position, unable to move, with Lupin behind him, pounding into him, his cock held tight in Lupin's warm grip. He shuddered, and could not tell if it was from arousal or disgust.

He turned the pages until he reached the next place that Lupin had marked. This one featured the same two models, but now the lighter-haired figure was being sucked off by the man kneeling at his feet. The standing man's mouth was rounded with ecstasy, and his hands on the other's head were clearly pressing him to take his swollen cock even further down his throat. As Severus watched, the first man came; his partner choked a little and a trickle of semen oozed from the corner of his mouth.

By now Severus himself was quite aroused. He took a long drink of tea to try to settle the flutter in his stomach. It had been a long time -- he tried not to think exacly _how_ long -- since he had had any intimacy except with his own hand. He knew full well why; even if it had not become nearly impossible to try to establish a relationship after he had agreed to become a double agent, he knew that neither his looks nor his personality were such that many men with his own inclinations were likely to be interested in him. If these books were Lupin's somewhat-subtle way of indicating interest, it was the first time in several years that anyone had shown as much.

Severus glanced down the hallway at the closed and locked door behind which the wolf lay. Wolf, yes, but controlled, one might even say humanised, by the potion that Severus himself had brewed. And wolf only for one night in the month. As a man, Lupin was by no means wholly unattractive. He might be no Sirius Black, but he had a greater claim to the word "handsome" than Severus himself.

For perhaps an hour Severus continued to flip through the books, looking especially closely at the pages Lupin had marked, which corresponded remarkably well with his own preferences. He ignored the almost painful demands of his stiff prick for attention, choosing rather to view the discomfort as suitable penance for his thoughts. He was far from easy with the realisation that he was actually fantasising about sex with Remus Lupin.

He had finished his tea and washed up his empty tea cup before deciding that he had better return and check on the wolf's condition. There had been no audible sounds from the room, and when Severus terminated the locking spells and stepped inside, he saw the furry body curled up in one corner. Its eyes blinked open, and it rose, stretching, and walked a bit stiffly over to Severus, thrusting its cold wet nose into his palm.

"Well, you seem to be doing all right," said Severus dryly. "Let me take my measurements."

Everything seemed to be normal. Severus sat down against one wall, his legs stretched out before him. The wolf lay on the floor with its muzzle on Severus's thigh, and after a bit Severus scratched the furry ears. "I have a test of your understanding and memory," he said. "I'm going to tell you something that I've never said to you when you were in human form, and we'll see if you remember and reply once you've transformed back."

The wolf wagged its tail, and Severus knew that he had been understood so far, at least.

Now that he came to it, Severus wasn't quite certain how to put what he wanted to say. "I was thinking, that is, wondering," he began awkwardly, "if perhaps the reason you've been leaving those books out for me to see is because you have interests that might complement my own. Perhaps we might sometime have a drink together and discuss the possibility."

The wolf looked at him intently, its ears pricked forward, then lifted its muzzle and gave a short yip.

"All right then," said Severus. "I suppose that means you understood me, more or less. We'll see if you remember and answer after you're back in your human form."

* * *

  
The fear-scent had been weaker on Snape this month until he came back into the room after Remus's nap. Then it had increased, yet it was somehow different, and also mingled with the smell of arousal. Nevertheless Remus was astonished to hear Snape's suggestion. He yipped in reply, and after a few moments allowed himself to swipe Snape's hand with his tongue, the delicious taste of Snape's skin almost overwhelming him.

Snape remained with him for the rest of the night, and even -- to Remus's embarrassment -- through his dawn transformation. Remus was limp with pain and exhaustion by the end of it, as always, and was both pleased and surprised when Snape handed him his dressing gown and offered to make him a cup of tea and some toast before he went back to Hogwarts. Always before Snape had departed immediately after taking his final measurements.

"Thank you," Remus said between famished bites of toast spread thickly with Nutella.

Snape shrugged, looking at his hands folded in front of him on Remus's tiny kitchen table.

Suddenly Remus realised what Snape was waiting for. "The answer to your question, by the way, is yes. I would very much like to have a drink or two sometime and discuss other possibilities."

"Ah. Good." A flush suffused Snape's sallow face. "This weekend?"

"That would suit me," Remus agreed. "Should I meet you in Hogsmeade?"

"No, not there." Snape spoke quickly. "I would prefer a Muggle pub, if you don't mind."

Remus shrugged. He didn't particularly care. He jotted down the details as Snape gave the Apparition coordinates for a place in a little town in Shropshire.

They agreed to meet at half past five on Saturday, but Remus was several minutes early. Stepping into the cozy wood-panelled room, however, he saw that Snape had arrived even earlier and was already seated with a pint glass two-thirds full in front of him.

Remus bought himself a pint and went over. "Hello."

Snape started slightly. "Lu-Remus."

Absurdly pleased that Snape had used his Christian name, Remus grinned and took a gulp of his beer. "Severus. You're looking well."

He was. His hair was less lank than usual, and he had worn a pair of Muggle jeans and a T-shirt with the logo of a Muggle band on it -- Spandau Ballet. Remus wondered if Severus even knew who they were, or if he had picked the shirt up in a thrift shop, the sort of place where Remus bought most of his own clothes. He was dressed similarly himself, except that his T-shirt was a plain dark red. He also had a handkerchief sticking out of his left jeans pocket, but he was unsure if Severus knew the traditional signals, so he leaned forward and asked quietly, "Did you enjoy the books I left out for you?"

Two bright spots of colour appeared on Severus's cheeks. "Yes."

"And do you prefer someone else to be in control in such circumstances?" Remus hoped with every fibre of his being as he waited for Severus's answer. He felt as if he had so little control over most of his life that he very much preferred to have it in bed.

The wait was long, but at last Severus answered, his flush darkening, " Yes."

Remus felt his mouth stretch in a predatory grin. "Well, then," he said softly. "I believe we might enjoy each other."

Severus gave a barely perceptible nod, his eyes never leaving Remus's.

"Finish your drink, then, and we'll go to my flat." Remus cocked his head. "I think that would be better then having me turn up at Hogwarts with you, don't you?"

Severus nodded, seemingly unable to speak for the rapidity with which matters were progressing. He lifted his beer and downed the rest of it in three long swallows. The glass clattered as he replaced it on the table. It took Remus only a couple of minutes longer to finish his own drink, and then he rose, beckoning Severus to follow him outside.

They Apparated to Remus's flat, and went immediately into the bedroom. Severus looked around curiously.

"I've not been in here before," he remarked.

"It's functional." Remus shrugged. The walls were white, relieved only by blue curtains over the small window. The duvet on the bed was also blue, but not matching, and the wardrobe's white paint was chipped.

Remus put his arms around Severus, feeling the tension in the bony frame as he drew Severus into a fervent kiss, tracing the seam of Severus's mouth with his tongue until Severus yielded and opened to him.

 _Merlin._ He could have taken Severus that instant. He broke up the kiss long enough to mumble, "Clothes. Off. Now," and began to tug at Snape's shirt.

Severus was just as bony and scrawny as he had been as an adolescent, tufts of coarse black hair sprouting from his armpits and chest and groin, in the last of which nestled his hard red prick, bobbing with each breath and already bearing a smear of moisture at the tip. Severus scowled defiantly at Remus.

"Not much to look at."

"I'm no Gilderoy Lockhart either," said Remus, bending down to peel off his socks and then straightening again. Severus had already seen him naked anyhow. "Come here."

He pressed Severus down onto the bed, straddling him and kissing him again, feeling the warm jut of Severus's cock against his hips, knowing that Severus could feel Remus's own arousal just as clearly. Severus was by no means passively compliant to begin with; he bucked his hips up against Remus and kissed back fiercely, tongue thrusting into Remus's mouth. In response, Remus shifted his hands to Severus's shoulders, pressing him firmly to the mattress.

"None of that," Remus said. "Oh no. I'm going to fuck you first, and you'll only get to come when I've finished, do you hear me?"

" _Yes_ ," ground out Severus. "Do it."

Remus fumbled in the bedside table for the lubricant that he kept there. "Roll over," he ordered Severus, and was gratified when Severus did so promptly, rising up onto his hands and knees, spreading his thighs so that Remus could see his tight brown wrinkled hole, the heavy pouch of his bollocks swinging below. Remus slicked himself well first before applying a generous dollop of the ointment to Severus's arsehole. The ring of muscle gave easily under his fingers, so he didn't bother with extensive preparation, simply knelt up behind Severus and put the head of his cock there, pushing in slowly but steadily until he was entirely inside, Severus groaning beneath him.

"Ah -- _fuck_ , yes."

"Don't -- move," gasped Remus as he thrust. Severus quivered but held still, the only sign of his need the harsh breaths that rasped from his throat. Remus fucked him fast and hard for several minutes, then, realising that his own orgasm would come too soon if he continued, deliberately slowed, shifting his angle slightly and making long deep strokes.

"Oh," groaned Severus.

Remus slowed even more, determined to provoke that response again, and Severus obliged. His fingers were clutched white-knuckled into the bed clothes, his head flung back as he panted. Remus reached around Severus's hip to slide one finger teasingly along his cock, from head to base, and then again, fondling Severus's bollocks as he shifted to a series of shallow thrusts, pulling out only an inch or two before sliding in again.

He hadn't had such a satisfying experience in a very long time, and to have it be Severus willingly beneath him only made it better. He had been imagining this since spotting Severus at the conference last summer, but had never really expected it to happen.

Severus continued to hold still outwardly, but his arsehole was flexing and clenching around Remus's cock, encouraging him, and a steady stream of filthy language was falling from Severus's lips, likewise urging him on.

"Come on, Lupin, give over and fuck me, _harder_ , that's right, want you to use me, fuck me, however you like, make me scream, make me come, fuck yes, harder, _yes_!"

Remus left off fondling Severus and, gripping the bony hips, pounded into him, giving himself up to heated lust, finishing at last when the tension behind his belly unwound and his come pulsed into Severus's arse.

It was several moments before he recovered enough even to pull out, though Severus's voice taunted and tugged at him to do so, to give Severus the same relief Remus had already found. When Remus finally withdrew from the now-cursing Severus, he put his arms around Severus's chest and rolled with him so that they lay spooned together, Severus's bum pressed against Remus's sticky and softening prick. Then Remus took Severus's hand and together they brought Severus off with rough strokes, until he growled and his cock spat semen in ropy strands across his chest. Remus drew a finger through the glistening mess and brought it to Severus's lips. Severus sucked willingly enough, and Remus felt his own prick twitch once more; he suspected that Severus would have real talent for giving a blow job.

"Thank you." Severus's voice was gruff.

Remus pressed his lips against Severus's neck. "I believe the thanks should be mutual."

"Very well." Severus lay silently for a bit, and then said, "I really must go."

"If you feel you must, then..." Remus shrugged and reluctantly moved his arm from around Severus's waist. "I had rather hoped we might have dinner."

Severus shot him a wary glance from where he was sitting on the end of the bed, pulling on his socks. "Perhaps another time?"

"Yes." Remus felt a gush of relief that Severus was interested in continuing this. Whether or not it would become more than a sexual relationship remained to be seen, of course, but this was a beginning. Silently he blessed himself for having attended that conference and suggested that he could be a test subject for Severus. The effects of that decision were going to benefit many, but Remus had no shame in knowing that he would get the best of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for ellid for her bid at livelongnmarry. She asked for the two of them at a conference; I'm afraid I didn't manage to work in Minerva or Poppy.


End file.
